if it makes you happy, well then it cant be that bad.

i have come to a conclusion.

If you would have looked back into my life a year ago i was not comfortable with who i was at all. I thought that me being gay was just a stage and that it would go away one day and i would marry a girl and have tons of kids. Although, in the last year my mindset (thanks to a lot of great friends including but not limited to stonergirl and dizzy) has done a complete 360. i realize now that I AM GAY. I also realize that i am in no way at all attracted to girls and having a wife is in no way possible. i also used to think that i would never tell my family in a million years. this christmas i wanted to so badly. i am tired of hiding myself, but i couldnt get up the nerve to let them know. they are the most conservative people you will ever meet. i mean i was cut off for like 3 weeks because they found out i voted democratic. haha seriously. there have been many chapters in my gay life.

Chapter One: First Encounter
when i was in the seventh grade i was having a sleepover with all of the "cool guys" in my class. i always have been bffs with all girls. At the time i lived with my mom and this worried her so she decided i needed some male contact. if only she knew thats exactly what i got lol. it was a game of truth and dare. i ended up losing my oral vcard that night.

Chapter Two: Constant Hook-ups.
this chapter has been the last four years of my life. i knew in high school that a relationship was impossible so my gay life was nothing but bootycalls from drunkyn football players whose gfs wouldnt put out.

I have decided that im starting chapter 3. im done with sex until i am in a relationship. thats what i want more than anything at this moment. unfortunalty this little city is full of guys that are looking to get off and most of them are really selfish lovers anyway. im done with them. DONE.

PS the guy i met the other night at the club just wants to get off. man oh man. will he ever come?