its been awhile...

therapy has taken the spot of blogging. i know, i know thats awful and i really should write more but everything that i usually want to get out gets out in therapy.

about two months ago i went to eat lunch with my wonderful grandmother when she asked if I was depressed. I told her that i had my good and bad days but there was nothing to worry about. she handed me this card with a dr's name on it, and right below that was a time and date. she had already made me the appointment. I was really hesitant at first. I am not one to openly admit my weaknesses in front of a complete stranger. the day of my first appointment i was terrified. I did not really know what to expect. I had only been to therapy once before in my life and that was family therapy (back when my mom was sober). Individual therapy is a lot different. I sit on this big brown leather couch and talk about me for an hour straight. Turns out that i have an anxiety disorder. I am really starting to enjoy the therapy however. It really has help me become more and more comfortable with myself. I still dont know how to feel about my parents but thats a whole nother post in itself. My therapist is a gorgeous lady in her mid 40s. My grandmother must not have known this (or did she?) but the DR actually wrote her thesis on homosexuality. She is an incredibly understanding person.

I have been working at a tuxedo shop for about two months now, and so far I still love it. The people i work with are amazing, but very odd at the same time. It seems the longer I work there the more secrets come out. Its very strange actually. I am just waiting on somebody to tell me that its all a joke. Anywhere from past mafia members, multiple abortions, to a sixteen year old girl asking me why she was attracted to women. its actually kind of entertaining.

at the end of the summer I will be moving! I can't wait to get out of this conservative little city. I feel like good things will come out of this. birdboy moved out three days ago and surprisingly I am taking it a lot better this time around. I pretty much told him before he left that he meant a lot to me and that if he ignored my txts or phone calls i would hate him forever. He has called twice since he left just to talk. as the semester went on it turned out that I didnt really have as many feelings for him as i thought. as a matter of fact he actually became a little annoying. I am pretty sure he has a problem with stealing things though because my ipod is missing. ass!

i am out of details right now but now that school is out I promise to write more. until next time.