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i feel for a girl. one with a vag in case you were wondering. baybay is her name. well not really but now. i am supper stoned by the way. so anyway, i meet her think she would be good to use to take home so my family doesnt worry. next thing i know i am thinking about her a lot and when we txt i smile everytime (i mean everytime) i receive a new message from her. puppy love. i feel hardcore. i asked her to be my girlfriend and she agrees. happiest 24 hours of my life. next night i went out with country girl. we all now how i like to get trashed and dance untill i cant dance anymore. i get a text that says, "im not ready" bitch broke my heart. a girl! i was finally comfortable with who i was and this chick comes around and makes me second guess. she isnt ready? ugh. next day we talk and decide that we shouldnt be bf and gf so soon. we both admitted that we were crazy for each other. as of now we are still dating...or seeing each other as she put it. everytime i see her she tells me how crazy she is about me. at work she spends my shift with me. i really wanna liek her and experience a relationship first hand but honestly i cant be hurt. heartache is awful and i would rather die than go through that. seriously. it fucking sucks. i dont any part of it at all. anyway, what do i do? do i let myself experience the magical thing they call love or do i just play it safe. is it really worth it? ohh my goodness? why am i so late finding this stuff out? this is third grade for most kids.
another story, my dad keeps talking ot my sister and not me. i mean not word to me for a year but every night to her. why? her REAL dad is meeting her for the first time 2morrow. i want to tell my dad so bad so he will be hurt. i would love it. birdboy is moving back. im excited but i realize things will never be the same. seriously. everybody keeps tell me he shares the feelings it was obvious and when he gets back we will eventually be together ( says stonergirl) i dont know. i know that after i have met somebody i will never be able to be alone again. which really sucks. i liked being alone. has anybody read twighlight? awesome. ok now im being random. i am so confused.
ugh school and work together suck. i really need to go sleep.
untill next time.
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2 comments:
Is love worth it???
YES!!! Always...
It is true that you take a chance of being hurt, but what most people fail to realize is that if anyone in the world can hurt you and hurt you bad it is the person closest to you and who knows you the best.
I find it sad that people have the idea that they can get into a relationship and NEVER get hurt. I have been married for almost 7 yrs now and I have been hurt by my wife and she has been hurt by me, it happens. But it does not mean that it is over.
I think because people date and have gf's and bf's in school it teaches you that if you dont like something about someone you just bag them and look for another. This is great in school, but unfortunately it filters into adult life later, get married, learn things you dont like about someone and ditch them to look for something better. Oh what a world we live in...
Just look inside your self and be brutally honest, the answer will reveal itself.
Because I know you. I will tell you that you are gay gay gay gay gayyyyyyy. Maybe you liked this girl because someone was showing you attention and the feeling of happiness you got from that is what you're so confused about and not the actual person but the feeling. Is this making sense? And because you have been raised in the south with a southern grandmother who damns homosexuals to hell you still hope to please her by having feelings for a girl. this is all so confusing. you should see a therapist. i.e. POT and dizzy observer in dallas. come over!
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